Trying Not to Get Anywhere

If you’ve visited a bookstore lately, and strolled down the “Self-Help” section, you’ve probably noticed that the shelves are stocked full of every possible title imaginable, on every possible subject. Sometimes, I think I can hear the shelves actually moaning under the weight of all those books.

I mean, if you want to lose weight, find religion, lose religion, and find weight…it’s all there my friends. Every conceivable angle is covered, for a nation I’m guessing is obsessed with trying to get to some level of perfection.

As for me, well, guilty as charged. I too have from time to time gorged myself at the table of “Self Help”, only to find that while the quantity of “food” was staggering, the taste was a bit flat.

Just yesterday, I watched on television a couple being interviewed on finding one’s passion in life. The couple was certainly well-meaning; I do not mean to say I’m cynical about their claims of helping folks find their true calling in life. It is a noble pursuit.

But, lately, for me at least, I’m perhaps noticing for the first time that true happiness, true peace of mind really, can really only be obtained by purposely trying not to get anywhere. I have started my own little practice of meditation. It is through this daily practice that I am, for the first time in literally decades, seeing that by parking my butt in the present moment, and staying there for 45 minutes at a time (the length of time I generally meditate), that peace of mind is found now, right here, at this very moment.

I’ve always been one of those folks who believed that “someday”, peace of mind would be mine, when work was over, kids were out of the house, and all the bills had been paid. But, life continues to happen even after all of these events have transpired, at least that’s what I’ve heard. So when exactly was this peace of mind I aspired to possess going to happen?

Peace of mind, contentment, and happiness are qualities that have to happen sometimes almost in spite of everything else that is going on in one’s life. There will always be challenges. There will always be bills to pay, mouths to feed, and everyday trivial annoyances in one’s life. Peace of mind, if it is to ever happen, must happen by us choosing to have it, and choosing more importantly to practice living in the present moment.

I am far from an expert on meditation. For that, I recommend that you look elsewhere, as there are many great books on the subject that will get you started (here I am taking digs at self-help books, and I’m promoting another self-help book! But, trust me, this is different!). I’ve just started my own practice really. But, I can tell you that it does help to show you, and me, what living in the present moment really is like. For 45 minutes at a time, I sit and watch my thoughts go by, trying not to cling to any one of them, and just sit, immersing myself in the lovely and beautiful present. When I am finished, I find that I am much calmer, much more optimistic about things, and this feeling permeates a lot of the different aspects of my day as I move through it.

Meditation is quite literally a “non-striving”, a purposeful time-out from life, or perhaps I should say time-in to the present moment, where we just sit, and be. I really believe this is how God wants us to live our lives, just moment by blissful moment. We humans tend to believe that we will magically arrive some day, to a place where peace of mind and happiness reside. So, we continue to buy all the self-help we can get our hands on, to lead us to this blissful destination, as our everyday lives tend to not resemble utopia in any way, shape, or form.

Perhaps one of the great truths in life is that happiness is found right here, and right now, this very moment, despite what your particular circumstances are in your own life. God doesn’t truly want us to agonize over our mistakes in the past (yep, I’ve sure done a lot of that), or worry about all the possible calamities in our future (yep, check that one off for me too). He just wants us to enjoy this moment fully, this wonderful mostly untapped moment right in front of us, and then move naturally on to the next one.

So, it’s a bit of a paradox really. But its been my experience that God works through paradoxes a lot of times. Only, they really aren’t paradoxes to Him, just to us.

By trying not to get anywhere, you tend to arrive here.

And “here” is turning out to be a mighty fine place after all.

-The Minister

Postscript

Recently, I wrote about the experience of really understanding the crucifixion, and what it meant to mankind (see “For God So Loved The World”). It was a very powerful experience for me, one that perhaps will finally start to help me make more sense of that unbelievable sacrifice, and life in general.

Well, from the “So unbelievable it just couldn’t be a coincidence department”, I give you this postscript to that story.

I awoke from my sleep the other night, coming awake from some dream. As I stirred in bed, my eyes settled on the clock radio by the side of the bed. The time was “3:16”.

No, I most assuredly am not making this up.

I instantly went from a dazed slumber-like state, to one of alertness and absolute wonder. Here I was, just a day removed from perhaps finally realizing the gift God gave us through the death of his Earthly son, when emblazoned on my clock radio was the absolute specific chapter and verse of that beautiful Bible passage: Namely, 3:16.

Do you think Somebody’s trying to get my attention?

I’ve written before how God tries to get our attention through numerous “mundane” vehicles, such as songs, license plates, and the words of a kind stranger. He does try to communicate with us, through all manner of methods, and methodology.

I can now add clock radio to that list.

-The Minister

For God So Loved The World

He gave His only begotten son.

Yes, we all know that one. I’ll bet I’ve heard this most famous of Bible verses a million times over the course of my life. Yet, sometimes, it takes time to really understand the impact of these words.

In church this past weekend, we were witness to a baby receiving baptism, an always happy occasion full of hope and promise. The baby of course howled in protest at having water sprinkled on his bald little head, but the parents, godparents, family, and friends, as well as the congregation, just smiled and laughed warmly. Hey, we’ve all been there right? Besides, nobody wants cold water sprinkled on their head, now do they?

It really struck me how joyous this sacrament really is. It’s truly the welcoming if you will of another soul into God’s kingdom, done formally for family and friends. I wondered to myself about all the possibilities that were open to this little baby, the life he had all in front of him. What joy, what wondrous opportunities were in store for this little fellow. And the parents, well, they had equal amounts, if not more, joy just bursting out from inside of them, proud of this wee little lad they had brought into the world.

The gift of a child to parents, especially the first child in the family, must be an absolutely magnificent feeling.

As I was lying in bed on that Sunday evening, about to doze off to sleep, the familiar old Bible verse came into to my otherwise quiet mind. The words, “For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten son, Jesus Christ …” very quietly, yet strongly, scrolled through my head, as if sent to me by, well, God. And then, it hit me, like it has never hit me before. God willingly let his own Son, God made flesh, be put to death to atone for our collective sins, and provide us with everlasting life.

I thought about that little baby, being baptized on that glorious day. I thought about the obvious love the baby’s parents, heck all children’s parents, had for him, how proud they were, all full of hopes and dreams. Given that, what parent in their right mind could willingly let their child die for the sake of others? Yet, this is precisely what God did for us, on that cross that somber day.

He died for us. He died for me. I was so moved at the realization of this, that I began to cry a bit. Tears came down, tears of joy perhaps, or maybe just gratitude, but tears nonetheless. I’ve never truly considered, until now, what this all means.

Look, I am by no means the greatest Christian in the world. I struggle with my faith on a daily basis, and I’m not here to proselytize to you, or even try to convert you over, far from it. But, what happened to me with the realization that a loving Father in heaven loved me so much, that He sacrificed everything for me, has never made such an impact on me in all of my life. I cannot imagine sacrificing my own child for millions of people I’ll never know, yet God loved me enough, and you enough, to do this very thing.

Today, I’m still awestruck by this realization. Yes, I’ve known this verse, and what the crucifixion means, for most of my life. But it never mattered like it mattered on a quiet Sunday evening, just before sleep. Given this knowledge, of what should we ever be afraid? Given this knowledge, why should we ever hate? Given this knowledge, why should we ever not be grateful for every minute we are alive?

Yes, I feel different today, I feel incredibly loved, and forgiven. I do hope this feeling lasts. I really can’t imagine my life now without this knowledge.

There’s a God in heaven folks who happens to care about what we do a great, great deal. I’ve let Him down numerous times in my life, and will do so I’m afraid numerous times more. But today, perhaps, I’m taking my first small steps towards home.

Or, perhaps I should say Home. After all, I think God is calling us Home from the moment we are born.

-The Minister

The Moon and the Stars

I’m an early riser, at least during the work week. I say early, because some folks certainly rise earlier than me, but if when I wake up, it’s still dark outside, that’s pretty darn early to me!

I’ve found that time, once I can successfully shake the cobwebs from my head and the sleep from my eyes, is a wonderfully peaceful time. It can be almost a holy time. Usually, it’s quiet in the house, and I’m alone with my thoughts and feelings. I tend to do a bit of gentle yoga stretching during this time. In the Fall and Spring, it’s especially nice, as the windows tend to be open, and I can hear the symphony of the crickets outside chirping away.

After I’m done stretching, I’ll usually wander over to a window and just gaze outside for a few moments. The sky is so beautiful at this time of morning, still dark, and full of stars as far as the eye can see. The moon is right up there too, and I’ve learned to really appreciate its beauty, whether it is full or just a crescent in the air.

There are times, certainly more often than not, when I feel incredibly loved while gazing out at the moon and the stars from my bedroom window. It’s almost as if God the artist is watching me admire His painting of the pre-dawn sky, and really appreciates me doing so. After all, He painted it for me and you to admire whenever we wanted.

There is so much beauty in the world, surrounding us all the time, if we but just stop for a moment and appreciate it. We humans tend to try and fill our lives with a lot of “doingness”, so much so that we don’t set aside nearly enough time for just “beingness”, if that makes sense. A lot of us complain about not being happy enough, or content enough, or having enough peace of mind, yet how can these things come about when every waking moment is occupied with activity? I’m learning that a lot of happiness and joy can come from just gazing out of a window at a moonlit sky, in the minutes before dawn, when all is quiet.

I’ve read and heard that people with terminal illnesses, from which there is no hope of recovery, finally “get” life. They understand that all the striving, all the material things, all the bustle and hustle of their lives really didn’t mean all the much. What matters is the touch of a loved one’s hand, the flowers in Springtime, the leaves changing in the Fall, gentle breezes, a slow and steady rain on the roof at night, and the moon and the stars. They finally see that happiness, and joy, were all around them every moment of their lives. And, for many, this knowledge alone is at least some small comfort.

It is my hope for you and I that it won’t take a terminal illness to show us that happiness and joy are indeed ours to be had, absolutely free, if we just open our eyes to the beauty that surrounds us on a daily basis. I know in my heart of hearts that God wants us to see the beauty He has provided for us. It must be frustrating when He sees us walking around in paradise, but with blinders on.

As for me, well, I’m just looking forward to tomorrow morning, when it’s just me and the moon and the stars.

-The Minister

Why Have Them?

Children that is. Many young adults ask themselves this question. It’s understandable why, when you consider it closely.

First of all, in an effort for full disclosure, I am writing this from the perspective of someone who doesn’t have children, but who wants them. That being said, I recognize the enormous responsibility it would entail if I did become a parent. Look at the risks involved. The child could turn out to be a special needs kid. The child could become a royal pain down the line, perhaps to the point of being one of those…you know… “bad” kids! There’s the matter of the amount of time one has to invest in order to be a good parent, and the sacrifices that necessarily entails. And, there are all the inherent risks of raising a child in a world that all too often seems to be a bit darker than the world in which I grew up.

I hear this (i.e., the world’s a darker place) a lot, especially from older parents, whose children are already grown. Many is the time an older (wiser?) parent has told me they would’ve never made the decision to have children if they had to raise them in the world in which we live today. I mean, look at all the ills we have in our society today. There are predators lurking seemingly in every corner, pedophiles on the playgrounds and in our increasingly wireless world, just waiting to pounce on our unsuspecting, innocent children. There are scary diseases that keep cropping up, just when it seems like we’ve made advances on old ones. Then, if that wasn’t enough, there’s the always-present threat of terrorism, a specter that looms over all of us.

It seems like when I was a kid the worst thing my parents had to worry about with me was whether or not I’d skin my knee if I fell off my bicycle. Yes, those were indeed the good old days.

I mean, they were, weren’t they?

As the referees in the NFL like to say, “Upon further review…”.

While I didn’t have Internet predators lurking behind my computer screen, I did grow up in a world that was one push of the button away from nuclear annihilation. While we didn’t have the threat so much of terrorism, we did have the threat of the Soviet Union on our doorstep. We hadn’t advanced in our treatments of diseases to the point that we have today either.

Nostalgia is just that…nostalgia. We tend to look back through rose-colored glasses, and look forwards sometimes through the lens of fear. Perhaps its important to remember this, or recognize this, as we ponder the question of whether or not to have children.

God had this same choice, you know. The one about whether or not to have children? Do you think He sat around and wondered about the same risks that would be involved for Him to bring his “children” into his newly created world? No one can honestly say for sure, although I have a hunch.

Recently, this hunch of mine was further reinforced through the words of a professor in a class I’m taking. It’s a class on religion, and this question actually came up, i.e., why did God create man? The professor asked the class (it’s a continuing education class, made up of mostly adults) why did those in the class with children make the same choice? Before the class could answer, the professor basically said that even with, or perhaps in spite of, all the inherent risks of bringing a child into the world, the rewards, the love that could potentially fill our lives, outweighs even the greatest risk imaginable.

It struck me that the professor was really on to something here. It was a real “Eureka!” type moment for me. Didn’t it stand to reason that God created mankind for the very same reasons that mankind decides to have children of its own? Wouldn’t God desire to have the love of others fill His life/existence, just like we humans desire it, and really need it, to sustain us?

I don’t know if this was the absolute definitive answer for which I’ve searched for years, but it started to really make sense to me at that moment. If we are created in His image, then it does stand to reason our (mankind’s) desire would be for creation of other(s) to share in our love, and our lives, in spite of all the risks each generation must face. That’s quite comforting, in its own way.

So, perhaps we decide to children simply because God decided to create us. Perhaps he instilled in us that longing for the love and sharing of others in our lives, because He knew that longing was part and parcel of living, and would only be satisfied through love. I’m just brainstorming here, but it does make a bit of sense to my feeble mind at least.

Sometimes I just scratch my head, and wonder at it all.

-The Minister